You know, I was having a hard time as it is with delusional anime fans and their waifus, now I’ve got to explain parasocial relationships to K-Pop fans too? And yes, I say this as a K-Pop fan who wants nothing more than to treat my K-Pop bias right. But also, do we really need to know who Kim Chaewon’s boyfriend is? Or can we start being normal about the privacy of the artist and all, because that is a long overdue conversation?

Well, for one thing, Miss Kim Chaewon of LE SSERAFIM and Iz*One fame probably doesn’t have a boyfriend. That’s mostly because most K-Pop companies have a strict rule about their idols not dating, period. There are some companies that don’t care, or some exceptions that are very well established to the point where the general public won’t care if they date someone. But LE SSERAFIM is too new for that. 

Still, it’s not hard to see why so many people are curious about Kim Chaewon. She’s both somehow the natural girl next door pretty and full on glamorous when she needs to be. Plus her humor and chemistry with other members in her group is so fun. But, as someone who’s grown in the K-Pop fandom, I always found the restrictive nature of monitoring idols a little cringe. So today, let’s discuss parasocial relationships in K-Pop, in yet another round of K-Pop Karousel!

Why Don’t Idols Date More?

The K-Pop Idol industry has always been a little bizarre. Unlike Western music agencies, K-Pop companies tend to be much more strict with their recruits. They aren’t just looking for great singers, they are creating all rounder performers that can be recognized for their dancing skills, their stage presence, etc. And because of that, the training is harsh. 

If you’ve been a K-Pop fan for long enough, you know just how hard it is to become an Idol trainee, let alone debut in an idol group. It’s literally a one-in-a-million shot. And from that point onwards, all eyes are on you. Because of how conservative the Korean masses can be, there is only so much you can do without being the cause of controversy. And being an idol means you have to be a good role model to your followers.

So, no smoking or being impolite. You can’t dress in a provocative manner, and your body has to remain in Korea’s beauty standards. This also translates to an Idol’s private life, so dating is a huge no-no. Hence why you won’t find any of the newer big idols having any partners, like Kim Chaewon.

The Demerits Of Parasocial Relationships:

So, the other reason why K-Pop Idols don’t usually have a boyfriend or girlfriend is because of fans themselves. There’s a huge culture of bias and stans in the fandom, and Netizens love claiming X members as their ‘wife’ or ‘husband’. It’s all part of the experience, albeit a little unrealistic. 

After all, the first thing an Idol is selling you is their image. They are the unattainable ice princess, or the cute best friend or the elegant princess. Very much like in anime, the fanservice matters to an extent and fans like shipping themselves with the members. It’s selling this parasocial relationship where you and your favorite Idol are close and personal. 

Again, this has to be my least favorite part of K-Pop because, well, it dehumanizes idols a little bit. Like, they are humans too, with complex emotions and feelings and they are allowed to make mistakes. But the cost of making those mistakes or being true to yourself is so high that it isn’t worth it to even try. It would risk losing fans, which could impact their careers.

Parasocial relationships don’t always have to be bad, obviously. But the idea that an Idol has to be committed to you is a little wack. I, for one, can’t wait to see us get out of that mindset.